I think 90% of the time I'm pretty well adjusted , but I think most of us can never get rid of that 10%. When I fall into that 10% it's fine, because I can always get better and I can always be happy and play with my dog and love those around me. Life does not matter all that much, and I'd like to spend most of it loving my dog, and just having fun. It is inevitable that I will get worse again but let this log be proof that it can get better and I can be happy again. Every day there is a new opportunity to be happy. I love you Peanut.
Yep as the title says! the design looks cute like how I like it. Also, sometimes I feel like my emotional intelligence and just general wisdom is coming in a lot later than everyone else's. It's like it's sort of stunted. Nietzsche (I think, or just some guy from a 2000s film) said I shouldn't miss out on my suffering because it'll build me. What if I don't want to spend my time "suffering"? I want this limbo feeling gone.
Yes I wrote a log already earlier lol but I made up with my best friend and had a productive day. I'm now working on a popup for when you want to learn more details about the zines on the shelf. Sooo excited to host it once I got most of the basic functions down. I also added some more decor so it looks a little more cohesive now. :D
I had the perfect day yesterday. I went out with my best friend and we ate and watched TV, hung out, talked until like 2am. I unfortunately ruined the end of it because I don't know why I always mess things up. I try so hard. I dont understand why being normal has to be so hard for me, Like all my senses are cranked up to 150%. I wish I were not so difficult to love, I want to take action to be easier to love but it's slowgoing. I want to stop driving away the people I care abotu and care about me. I'm not a bad person and I don't want to be. I can change. Please don't remember me in my worst moments. Please remember me by the good I do, even if I do bad most of the time. I don't understand why I'm like this.
My family went out. We ate at some fancy place, then we got a turtle (I would like to name him something silly like Donatello, but my sister has other plans), ate at Chinatown, then went home. It was a long day. I think most of my bad mood from the last week came from barely eating, which makes a lot of sense. I should just replan my diet instead of starving myself. I also have been slowly chipping away at my zine works! It makes me really happy. I love scrolling through Pinterest and thinking of layouts, I have to work on content to put into the zines though. I wrote a cannibalism themed short story anthology type thing, and I'd like to put it in some sort of zine, though I don't know how to go about it. I'll figure it out. :) Today was great!
Why do i always do the wrong thing? i don't understand how i consistently eveyrthing i choose just goes wrong. I just want to be happy. I try so hard every day to find something to be happy about. It is so hard. Where did everything go? What did I do wrong? Why did god make me the way that I am, and why is it so hard to climb out of this hole? I want out. I want something to clutch.
yeah... i dont know. I want to go on adventures, but where? i want to do stuff, but what? I want to be happy, but how? certainly not by just sitting around, scrolling, consuming garbage content, right? i think i am happy most of the time but when i feel down in the dumps i really go down. these are the emotions of teenager me, not a 20 yr old! i dont want to be this way... im going to try and make something cool today so i can feel better...
I have a new fascination for edtwt ...
is it just another form of discipline now then? i feel so fat now...i want to be super skinny but i dont want to go about it in a starving way, just a "replanning" of diet way. but it would be really nice to look that thin ... i know it wont make myself love myself any more but idk. I'll lose 5kg and see how I feel .
Hey guys!! I've been super into zines lately and I've been designing a new website to start a digital zine collection ... Like a library!! Haha it's so fun to learn web design it's kind of painful but really pays off once stuff starts working and stuff starts looking good. I've always wanted to work in print and advertising so zines really interest me! I hope I can share it here soon because I'm just working on it in VSCode right now... :D